Fear(fully)lessly Femme in South East Asia

“To be visibly queer is to choose your happiness over your safety”. A sentiment that is universally true, though with varying degrees of intensity depending on where one finds their queer self. Prior to flying to Bangkok, this quote came across one of my various social media platforms, and perfectly encapsulated that little voice in the back of my head saying “Be you out there, but be smart".

Needless to say, Thailand is hardly anti-LGBT in the same sense or intensity as say, Brunei where the LGBT death penalty was only announced to be "unenforced" due to international pressure, as opposed to any kind of epiphany of morality by the government. However, whilst Thailand is famed for its “ladyboys" and drag shows bursting with Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent, one can’t help but think “What if my visibility as queer is only safe in the capital?”.

This thought occurred to me, and as I went to research I found myself drawn to advice coming from female solo travellers due to a lack of similar, queer, femme face documenting their solo backpacking adventures. This is not to say their advice was not helpful. Indeed, many identified tips I had picked up on my travels previously. For example, strap your bag to yourself and someone is less likely to try and take it from the seemingly physically inferior loner wandering around their town, or to use directions via google maps with your headphones in. After all, who's going to try and bother the person walking down the street confidently with their headphones in? They clearly know what they’re doing here. In other words, not as easy of a target.

So, if I have these brilliant, confident, intelligent women giving advice based on their solo travels, why did I feel the need to write this? For lack of a better reason, representation, and subjectivity to the queer individual in any given, uncomfortable, and potentially dangerous situation. Like women, gay men, (particularly easily identifiable, effeminate gay men alone) experience many of the same anxieties. Be this the strange guy staring at the bar, an unidentifiable sound on the street when walking home alone at night, or even worrying if your outfit shows "too much" skin. Or rather, for the queer individual, "Is my outfit too gay?" wherein a group of toxically masculine men feel in their small minds they are at liberty to say or do as they please with regards to your person.

However, these shared experiences and anxieties do not negate the fact that for centuries, simply existing as a queer person was criminalised. In many countries we still are, and in all others, to differing degrees, we continue to be somewhat of an anomaly. Whether that manifest itself through the drunk, straight girl clocking you and turning you into her new Chihuahua with those unforgettable, and apparently never ending words “Oh my god yaaaasss queen, you’re my Gay Best Friend!”, or homophobes going as far as physical altercations simply due to your living openly and visibly as yourself.

These anxieties for many, only prove to increase at the prospect of travelling to a new place. There's a different language, an as of yet, unexplored culture, and therefore, lack of immediately available support network. It's also likely that there are less formal legal protections.

I will be using this space to document my travels, experiences, and tips and tricks for backpacking to hopefully give fellow visibly queer individuals the confidence to pack your bags and explore this wonderful world solo as well.

Gear up for a fabulously femme ride!

Let me know about your experiences backpacking Asia as a queer person in the comments below!