Dating While You Hop Around the Globe

Avoiding Heartbreak While You Backpack

It’s no secret that dating in the LGBTQIA+ community is full of challenges. From internalised homophobia, oversexualisation, and issues of heteronormativity, to outright transphobia, fetishization, and racism, it is a daily struggle to find that one right person. These issues are made significantly easier when you’re backpacking. As I’m sure you’ve heard or read from anyone who’s backpacked before, one of the best parts of travelling, is the people you meet. In general, you will meet likeminded individuals to yourself. Open to new experiences, cultures, challenges to their values and opinions, and steep learning curves. In other words, unlike so many, these people are capable of empathy and learning.

As such, the gym bunny with “no fats, no fems, no blacks, no Asians” in his profile and an entirely unfounded sense of self-importance is on the whole, rather easily avoided. So, when you’re backpacking, wherever you might be, allow yourself to be open to new experiences, getting to know these incredible people, and in the process, possibly even understand yourself, your own biases, values, and opinions better. This is an invaluable opportunity for you, and you should embrace it with open arms.

This isn’t to say I’m telling you to, for lack of a better phrase “open your legs” for anyone that seems remotely interesting (Although this can also be fun, and if it’s what you want, go for it! Just make sure you use protection! Nobody wants to catch an STI while they’re travelling), you shouldn’t close yourself off emotionally either.

What has seemed to be the best, safest, and most rewarding method for approaching dating

while travelling to me was to treat everyone like a friend. No more, no less. It’s just some of those friends get to see you naked… Unfortunately, it’s also very easy to “catch feels” for these people, especially when travelling. After all, you’re in a new environment, with new people, and as a result you cling to and bond with the people you meet unusually quickly. Then you add sex, or sexual attraction and for many, these feelings and connections increase tenfold. Plus, you can’t blame people for catching feelings in this scenario! Backpackers have the luxury of making up their itinerary as they go, and as a result, I met countless people who connected, and proceeded to travel together for a while in some of the most beautiful destinations in the world. You’ve essentially skipped all the way to the honeymoon stage, and had your summer romance, which thanks to all those cheesy movies and romcoms you grew up with, make it even more romantic, and therefore the prime opportunity to catch feelings.

Now this is where you have to learn to separate emotions. Unless one or both of you have the luxury to move around and make this work long-term, you have to be able to take all those positive experiences and memories, use them for growth, and then move on. The Love in your Eat, Pray, Love experience essentially. If you embrace these positives without getting hung up on how short that time might have been, then maybe you can have this moment without heartbreak. In other words, live in the present during your time backpacking and you just might avoid heartbreak.

After all, by embracing them, you can also get the added benefit of someone to take your plandids for Instagram, and if you find a real sweetheart, some genuine candids (Something that some

would argue endeared me to one particular individual a little too much). Of course you can get these with non-sexual friends! I know I do for most of my travels, but there's something a little but cuter when you have that romantic connection, no?

Anyway! Back to the point! Try not to get too hung up on the future with this one, particular person. When you focus too much on a joined future in such a short-term scenario, it can result in later experiences being tainted because of being hung up on a guy, girl, or anywhere in between. Go with the flow, enjoy your time, embrace this person and what they have to offer, then move on! We live in a world of social media and globalisation! If it's something that can work, you'll both make it work! Don't stress about it too much.

What do you think? Is my approach pessimistic? Optimistic? Should you just avoid all romantic entanglement altogether? Or embrace them entirely, let yourself see a future, and just risk the heartbreak? Let me know!